Do you know those tower moments we have in life? Like everything seems to crash down, fall apart? Pretty much Babel’s Tower? They might be a great opportunity to level up in life and upgrade yourself …
Everyone can relate to that: a situation that happens and makes you question everything else?
Yes: tower moments are daunting, are overwhelming, confusing, make you ask: did I build this ship to wreck?
That’s where your response to the situation is central and you get to decide whether:
- You are drowning and sink in it;
- Or build-up from ashes and upgrade yourself.
2. What’s It going To Be? Drowning In Or Upgrade Yourself?
Drowning here is losing hope; is sitting in that corner of the mind and loading yourself with self-pity.
Have you ever heard of a Portuguese poet Fernando Pessoa? One of his poems says: everything is worth it when you carry a soul that isn’t small (in Portuguese: Tudo vale a Pena Quando a Alma Não é Pequena)
Drowning here is feeling some toxic shame for whatever situation, that paralyzes you from moving forward.
Drowning here is feeling the last person in God’s eyes, and thinking/deciding that things for you are damaged forever and nothing will ever be the same.
Maybe that’s just the uptake here: things not staying the same. Life is all about change.
A larva becomes a butterfly.
A seed that germinates and becomes a plant.
Life is all about Lavoisier’s Law.
2.1 Life is all about Lavoisier's Law: nothing is lost, everything is transformed.
And it’s up to you to change the lens, and see what is it in your life that has such urge to transform, once the tower moment starts announcing the beginning of a transformation.
Well, take a good look at your situation and analyze:
- what was on your power, and wasn't done, so you can do better next time;
- and what wasn’t on your hand, because some things – what other people do or think – actually isn’t in your power. You can manipulate – might go well for some time. Or not.
But if things came crushing, try this approach:
- You’re getting an opportunity here and now, to build something new, in a better way.
But first, you’ll have to figure out what was it that went wrong.
2.2. What was it that went down?
A relationship? You can build a better relationship: with the same person or a new one. As long as both want the same thing: a better relationship.
Was it money you lost? You can earn it again and some more.
Was it a job situation? With what you’ve learned up to now, you can do better next time (new task, new project, new job).
The only thing that there will be no next time, in this lifeline: is the death of someone you care about. But you can always be grateful for the opportunity you had to have that person as part of your life journey…
Of course, you’ll need to mourn, feel the loss (things, person, or circumstances) analyze the situation, and most important: analyze yourself.
- It’s very important to analyze your contribution to that situation that crashed: because that’s the main starting point for making an upgrade yourself…
- What and how did you feel
- What can you do to transform those feelings into something useful for you: personal growth with no bitterness.
- What skill you felt you needed to handle it better: and go find help to develop those skills.
In the meantime, before you even think endeavor into some strategies to rebuild yourself: you’ll need to heal, before upgrading.
2.3 You’ll need to heal before upgrade
What’s the point of wanting to upgrade, starting something new from an unhealed place? Is like trying to plant a tree on dry and devitalized soil… You’ll need to heal first.
Meanwhile, life doesn’t stop, it’s not in the nature of life (remember Lavoisier’s Law? Always transforming) : it’s important to keep yourself grounded.
Grounded is not the same as anesthetized: you do have to feel your pains, and not mask them to yourself, pretending isn’t important, avoiding them, or channeling anger addressed to someone else.
Accept you’re angry: understand where it comes from, ask yourself what can you really do to transform that anger into something useful for you.
And when you have been shaken up by life, the little things will help you put yourself together, the little things will help you go through while all seems to fall apart.
3. The Little Things That Help You Go Through While All Seem To Fall Apart
Well: the tower is all falling apart, and you have two first basic instincts here:
- Run to collect the fallen pieces and try to put them in place. But let’s face it: THE WHOLE BUILDING IS FALLEN APART. It’s fallen faster than the speed you can put the pieces in place, in a way that is a safe structure. Let it fall.
- You hide in a corner, cover your head to protect yourself, while the “building” is fallen on your head.
Do none of that.
What do you need to do? Step away from the situation, the falling tower.
To protect yourself.
Even if that means moving away from people that are behaving as stones ready to throw themselves at you, to do harm, people that show no interest in your greatest good: you don’t need that.
Get away from the stones. To protect your energy. You’re going to need it to rebuild.
You’re all shook up. After all: it was your building, your life. Crashing.
Before anything else: focus on the little things to heal. The ones that are going to help you build a new structure. With stronger foundations. With tiny habits.
3.1 Make a sleeping routine (discipline yourself to sleep)
Hugely important. Having a scheduled hour to sleep, on the clock if necessary and some healthy routine that calms you down: without TV or cellphone or any addictive behavior. 1 hour before going to bed. Be intentional.
Because, when you’re facing life struggles is very easy to be caught up in the spiral of thoughts of worries. Then you get so stressed that you can’t even sleep: be kind to yourself and give yourself a nice rest. To allow physical cell repair. To restore balance a«body and mind balance.
3.2 Practicing gratitude: it’s all about feeling
3.2 Exercise your body, having your breathing process very present
It doesn’t matter if is cardio in the afternoon or stretch in the morning. No mind in a body that has the ability to move, can work at its best without exercise.
Exercise in some way. Whether is walking (improves your posture, positively affects your attitude), running (release pleasure hormones), working your arms (fundamental for your heart health)… It’s up to you.
It will help clear your mind and inspire you with new ideas to create, your brand new strategy, for this new life phase you are entering:
Always have in mind the compound effect: consistency is the key here. To recenter yourself.
Regardless of your working commitments, or family responsibilities: commit to yourself in these 3 things, to keep it going in a nice mental health place.
And get you mentally prepared for your next phase: to improve yourself. Into a more sustainable you.
4. Your Chance To Level Up
So: the tower went down.
And you managed not only to stay alive but decided to rebirth :you need to start thinking of rebuilding from the ashes.
Some hesitation, maybe, some fear, naturally: you’re going up the stairs, you can’t see shit ahead, but going back down is out of question. Been there, done that.
New Phoenix phase. After the burnt the rebirth.
Regardless of what went down, focus on these 4 dimensions:
4.1 Set up your upgrading from here: wealth health, self and
By this time, you already analyzed “the ruins” of some part of your life – it’s essential to do so - for you to plan your next investment.
Now that you know what was participation (or absence) on the tower moment, you know where you need to work on in the future, to make sure you build things on a better foundation.
- Conceive what you want to build, set your new (or maybe the same goals, on a different ground).
- Look for coaching, therapy to improve emotional skills, professional training to help get where you want to get.
- Break your big goals into small ones: remember those routine daily habits when you were healing?
Use that discipline here, too.
- Once you’ve set your new goals, and are backed up with newly learned skills: take action on your goals.
- Cut off with people that are not aligned with your known values or with your newly set goals: anything that’s toxic, set it loose. You’ll thank yourself in the future.
- Congratulate yourself every day: for every mini-task done in the direction of your goal(s).
- You might not see changes in one day: just be consistent in your action. Persistence is the key.
In the long run: you will see how much you’ve walked: inner and outside reality will speak for itself.
Getting Better Every Day
Hey! I'm Eunice Veloso and you'll find more about me on my About Page
"In nature, nothing is lost, nothing is created, everything is transformed"
Antoine Lavoisier, 1789
The Law of the Conservation of Mass