Self-Talk & Recenter
Self-talk positive moments, from an outside perspective, looks like a nutsy behavior. It’s the other way around: I can help you fight anxiety.
You become huggable to yourself. Is an act of self-nurturing.
Actually, puts you back in your center, if you experience spiraling at times.
And spiraling is just the outcome of a sequence of several negative thoughts, that you normally don’t even realize they’re happening until anxiety comes crashing in, like a sledgehammer.
Self-talk, when done positively helps you recenter, have a conversation with yourself, and take back your power.
Self-talk Can Be Positive Or Negative
It’s fact: we all do self-talk. Whether we realize it or not.
Self-talking is that inner chat, that is always happening in your head. Has a big fingertip of your subconscious mind: your thoughts, beliefs, questions, ideas, emotions are there.
Whether your inner talks are predominantly positive or predominantly negative: it impacts your life.
So: the more aware you are of your own inside conversations, the better you are able to re-redirect them to a place where you can build yourself up, instead of draining and demotivating you.
No: is not a question of toxic positivity or, being in denial.
Some situations are really negative. Or negatively real. There’s is no use in denial. But you can see it this way: lights enter through the cracks. Put some neon lights on it.
The truth is, if adopt a perspective or redirect your thoughts into a positive perspective: you will have another approach to problems and situations with more confidence.
Identify The Negative Self-Talk (So You Won’t Go Into That Mental Place)
♠ Are you overreacting? Is that a real big issue?
♠ Are you overgeneralizing? A bad did doesn’t make a bad person.
♠ Why should you try to guess how others will react?
♠ Why should you label yourself in harsh language? Are you calling yourself “jerk”, “stupid”, “useless” ….? If it was your best friend or your darling, you wouldn’t be proud of yourself, using that sort of treatment…
♠ Why should this be a black-or-white, an all-or-nothing situation? Meet halfway: the solution might be there.
Why is it important to challenge yourself with the questions?
(Out aloud is more effective: really helps you organize your head and prevent spiraling)
Because that self-questioning exercise will lead you to the next step: reframing those negative thoughts.
How the hell are you going to counter-argument if you didn’t listen to the base argument (negative pattern of thought)?.
Get the habit, with bear claws, to counter-argument yourself.
To prevent negative pattern-of-thought to invade your mind you should know how to identify these attitudes, types of negative thoughts.
Patterns of Negative Self-Talk To Avoid
When you personalize issues, you blame yourself for everything. Blaming yourself will only lead you to guilt, shame, and more self-harming and low emotions. It’s self-intoxicating. That is not the answer.
What’s the answer, what’s the positive attitude (the counter-point)?
The answer is in taking responsibility for a solution: being accountable.
When you are magnifying problems, you are focusing on the negative aspects of the situation. Take a step back, so you can watch the situation, from an outside perspective. Something ending? Embrace the change and welcome the new that inevitably is coming.
Facing life struggles of any sort? It’s just making it possible for you to grow into a stronger person. Everything carries itself the energy of a yin-yang. Darkness-light. Day-night. Hot-cold.
Catastrophizing? Get out of that drama place! Well, that’s equal to setting yourself on fire: you are activating the fight-flight mode! What does that create?
Stress hormones will make getting ready to face or run from a lion…
The question is: is there a lion in front f you? Is it a real-life-threatening situation?
Well: some situations real are. Life-threatening. But there’s no need to emphasize negatively, one situation that is not.
If it is not a life-threatening situation, the positive attitude that will help you is believing that:
You’ve got this. You can handle anything that comes your way.
You’ve got this. You can handle anything that comes your way.
Polarizing perspectives of situations also belong to a pattern of negative thoughts, that narrows too much the many options that any situation has, the multiple outcomes.
Is like seeing the world in black and white, and totally ignoring the existence of rainbows.
Here comes a metaphor: do you know why do we see rainbows? Because the rays of sunlight are trespassing raindrops: an reflect back the surface of a raindrop.
The situation is harsh, shady, and rainy? Put some sunlight on it and it and you will see the rainbow.
The Benefits of Practicing Positive Self-Talk
The benefits are simple and effective:
♥ Increases your mental and physical health
It’s well known and felt that your mental estates influence your physical body and, your physical energy affects positively your mental energy. It’s all intertwined. When you have some control over that inner language and the messages you accept for yourself: you are directly managing both your mind and body wellbeing.
♥ Helps to get a different perspective in challenging times
If you allow yourself to think positively: you’ll see solutions, alternatives, that you can’t when you are tied up with negative thoughts only. You get to see the rainbow, remember?
♥ Improves your self-confidence
When you shed light on just one step (of the whole stairs you have to climb): you will feel more confident to keep on walking.
♥ You experience less loneliness
Let’s face it: if you can count on yourself for counseling and advice, to put you on your track, that supports you and is not undermining or undervaluing you: that’s a best friend you got there.
Is very hard to feel lonely when you are one of your best friends.
Practice Positive Self-Talk: Get Your Power Back
Practicing positive self-talk is getting your power back. Is literally turning sh*t into gold.
These are just examples, but you must be conscious and alert when those negative thoughts come.
Positive Self Talk
- What if this whole thing doesn’t work?
- What if this whole thing works even better than I thought possible?
- What am I dreaming? It’s way out of my league.
- I can do this.
- Today I was a mess!
- I can do better tomorrow.
- What if I’m wrong?
- I didn't know better: I’ll take the lesson and make a better choice next time.
- Look at this floppy belly: I look miserable...
- How can I improve my diet and exercise to make myself feel better in my body?
- That whole situation was so humiliating and embarrassing.
- I did the best I could with what I had. At least I tried.
- Things always end up this way for me.
- This specific situation ended this way. I’ll have a different approach next time.
- What am I thinking? I know nothing about this subject...
- I can learn the skills need.
- I’m not going to say this: she/he might be disappointed.
- I believe what I’m thinking: I’ll say it without being offensive.
- I can deal with her/his disappointment.
- She/ he is a grown person and will find a way to deal with it.
- Who is going to love me?
- I love myself and I’m worthy of receiving love.
- I’d like to express myself but… My opinion doesn’t matter anyway...
- I’ll express my opinion: it’s up to him/her to accept it or not.
- What if I invest and lose?
- I’ll take a calculated risk and the odds are up. And If I lose: I know how to earn back that amount and more.
Is totally worth it, the self-positive talk.
Is not toxic positivity: is not about burying your head in the sand or denying negative situations.
Nop. Is about facing what it is.
Let the rain fall, shine a light through it: so you can get your rainbow of possibilities.
Getting Better Every Day
Hey! I'm Eunice Veloso and you'll find more about me on my About Page
Antoine Lavoisier, 1789
The Law of the Conservation of Mass
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