One thing is for sure: if something is ending, something new is germinating. A new beginning’s about to emerge.
As two plus two equals four.
It gives chills in the stomach, right? Are there fears to overcome? Let them be there.
But under your control. Is not as if it’s going to disappear, as if by magic: you have to overcome it.
But wait a minute… Let’s face it: fear can be there. As long as it doesn't stop you from doing what needs to be done.
It all depends on your perspective of what’s coming ahead.
If you expect the worst, it’s possible that fear might take command and you’ll be frozen. There’s no life in the frozen estate. There is no growth in the form of frozen.
And fear doesn't have to be your enemy here. See it as an obstacle in an obstacle race: you don’t stop running, you jump over it.
But why would you expect the worst? You’ll be a lot more productive and a lot more creative in finding solutions when facing challenges, if you expect the best.
You gotta be bold in this: bend reality. It is possible.
Sit with your fear: Overcoming fear is no pretending it isn’t there.
Pretending there’s is no fear is a no go.
It will only feed the boogie monster to devour you when it build up.
Instead of pretending it isn’t there, or run to your usual coping mechanism as compensation (drink a beer, smoke a ciggarrete or something else, rage against the first person that shows up … whatever coping mechanism you use to defend your self from your own fear): sit with it.
Sit with your fear and face it.
Ask where is that fear coming from, and what it needs you to be alert on.
Is it a real danger in this particular situation? Or is it a learned fear from some unaddressed past situation?
What can you do, that depends on you, how can you skill yourself to make sure you are ready for the upcoming change?
Remember: the one piece you can act upon, to have some control over the situation, is yourself. And the way you navigate through any possible sea: you can not control the weather, you can only control the ship. And the ship is you.
Overcoming means coming over: the fear is there. It is an obstacle, a rock in the middle of the way. You don’t ignore it: you see it, you pass over it: you overcome.
And release the fear of the unknown because deep down is the underlying fear of not knowing what the future brings.
But you release the fear of the unknown, by believing in yourself and knowing that whatever comes ahead: you’ve got this, you can handle it.
Make a closing ceremony
Make sure that you have a good entrance in this new phase, whatever might be (personal development, relationships, job, home changing): make a closure ceremony, to say a proper goodbye to the phase that is ending.
Give it closure. Tie all losing ends.
Some studies suggest that people who have a popper ending to a phase, make easier transitions to the new life, experiencing fewer regrets.
Therefore: have a goodbye party. And if there isn't a party, do something that for you, symbolizes the end of the old phase.
And expect the best. You do deserve the best, right? Than expect the best.
Expect the best: and visuzualize your goals
And here we go again to that toxic positivity… Not at all.
If you expect the worst, you won’t overcome your fear: you are actually feeding it. Eventually, get paralyzed by fear. Remember? The monster? The one that if you feed, is going to eat you for breakfast?
Well: let’s agree that you don’t want that to happen. Not being frozen by fear, nor being swallowed by fear.
The best thing to do is to expect the best. Why?
Because if you mentally place yourself, through a life change, with an optimistic attitude, you’ll have more mentally available to be more creative in finding solutions to that challenges, when they show up.
So: expect the best. Because you’ll do better.
How do you o that? Make a mental picture. Visualize. With details. And if you manage to add sensations: even better.
And when that little (big?) anxiety starts arising, that little (big?) sh*ty fear of the unknown: stop, take several deep breaths and Visualize Your Scene, Feel the Sensations of Your Scene.
And bend reality.
Is kind of a new concept. Or maybe not so new.
Is just more talked about now.
Extraordinary minds do it.
It makes you feel like being extraordinary, right?
And it’s probably crossing your mind right now: “Oh, but I’m not extraordinary”.
Who said that? “Your” haters?
Those will probably ask: “Who the f*ck do you think you are?”.
The voice you probably should be listening to, should be your own, asking yourself: “Who are you not to be great?”
You are a unique human being. A unique combination of genes. A unique combination of experiences. Unique.
Your potential is limitless.
That is why you must at least try your limits: then you’ll find out if your you are extraordinary or not.
Do it, not for haters, not to prove anything to no one but yourself.
You might be extraordinary. You might find out that you are not extraordinary.
One thing is for sure: you stretch your limits further. And certainly no longer constraint to what it used to be.
That, my friend: is growth.
The concept of bending reality is the subtle art of having a vision of your future, that will pull you forward, balanced with the ability to live the now and be happy with it.
It is a challenge. And not a small one, if you're not used to this mindset. It requires having the habit.
But you gotta try and be the best version of yourself. You might just find that out you are extraordinary after all.
Getting Better Every Day
References and Related Posts
Hey! I'm Eunice Veloso and you'll find more about me on my About Page
Antoine Lavoisier, 1789
The Law of the Conservation of Mass