Why Hurry? From “Just Sex” to Sacred Sex

Just Sex. Sacred sex. Nope: it is not sex with covered bodies, surrounded by a religious choir: it is about the sacred nature of life. Take your time to nurture the concept. Why hurry?

Let's face it: some people consume sex the same as fast food. As fast as they can. The faster the better: as if some crime was being committed and wouldn’t want to be caught in the act.

If, when someone says the “s” word and the first thought is intercourse and genitalia: slow down a bit.

Skin is the largest organ of the human body and your all body is covered by skin. That’s where we have, from head to toe, all sensory receptors.

Instead of having "just sex” start to conceive a new approach, a merge between the sexual body and a spiritual connection: explore sacred sex.

Repression, sexual liberty, debauchery

From religion to debauchery: probably none of these expressions of sex will help you feel fulfilled: one represses your sexual energy, and the other put it to waste.

Sexual energy is not just about creating babies. It is energy to create: ideas, projects, personal creative and/or professional accomplishments.

And the energy that can be transmuted: it is possible to transmute energy, your sexual energy, and be moved by that enthusiasm, that vital force to achieve any goal (or several), materialize dreams and projects.

Yes: (sex) times they are changing throughout the millennia.

On one extreme we have the influence of religion telling us sex is dirty and sinful if it’s not for procreation.

On the other edge, we’ll find debauchery: sex addiction, porn addiction, children, and animals. Everything goes as long as it takes someone out of the boredom of what is conceived as traditional sexuality between human beings.

Sex is natural: humans do it, and animals do it.

Sex is natural but it may get boring if it’s "just sex".

It gets boring if it’s “just sex” with your spouse.

It gets boring if “just sex” is out of a relationship: you might have a tendency to search for multiple partners.

Sex is natural: humans do it, animals do it

It’s going to be messy, eventually dangerous, and yet… Boring.

Because it’s not formative, transformative, or creative. It entertains the void. And leaves you empty: eventually emotionally drained but not energized. It evaporates right after the sigh of pleasure.

Sacred sex as an energy exchange experience

Actually, sex is always an energy exchange. We’re not just bodies of flesh and blood. We’re that too, but that’s not just it. We have spirit. And the body is as much energy as the spirit is.

The body holds the energy of doing, and the spirit holds the energy of aiming. Body and soul.

And when we have the perception of being energy beings, in blood and spirit, in body and soul, then sex is not just sex: is a conscious exchange of energy between two people, both at a body level and spiritual level.

The only way sex is just sex: is when a person has their body disconnected from their spirit. And that’s a sexual experience indeed. But is a limited one.

When does sex become a sacred experience?

When it’s a full experience of body and soul. It's like there's a connection with the divine nature, what's there within that is divine in you.

Because it makes you connect with yourself at a very deep level. Witnessed, shared, and helped by your partner.

That’s where intimacy happens at a whole very deep level.

It demands presence, it asks for the truth. It requires trust. Even if it is not under the umbrella of a conventional relationship.

The dark side of sacred sex

Sacred sex might be an overwhelming experience.

Beware: it might be a pretty intense experience. Because you get in touch with parts of yourself that you never knew it was there.

It might trigger the best and the worst in you, in very deep ways. For better or worst. It might get you obsessed with the other person: when in reality, the things you have to address are about you.

If you don’t get spooked about yourself: it can be healing.

The dark side of it? It can trigger your insanity: possessiveness, overwhelming jealousy, a sense of power over someone, and a tendency to abuse it.

Is as if you’ve discovered a new power that you should address to yourself to create, and you address it outside and want to exercise power over others.

Sacred sex is a life force: you can use it to build (yourself or others) or to destruct (yourself or others). It all depends on how you deal with the experience.

But as mentioned above: it can be healing and create bonds of true spiritual intimacy with the partner.

True spiritual intimacy is challenging to achieve in contexts of “just sex” or even in contexts where there is strong emotional involvement (some trauma bond, usually with traits of a toxic co-dependency).

Sacred sex as a healing process: tantric sex might be a way

Healing process. Healing. Any addiction is evidence of something that needs to be addressed and healed.

If there's an addiction to sex or any of its products most likely is that there’s something to be treated: there’s a relationship with sex that must be healed.

Tantric sex can be a way to sort out some issues.

# What is Tantric sex?

Tantric sex is an ancient practice of the Indian culture, that comes back more than 5000 years ago.

This practice was used as a way to bring together the physical and spiritual and it encourages a sensual experience that may be experienced alone or with a partner.

It doesn’t have to be taken as a romantic perspective – although it can, but rather a way to connect with your body in a way to heal.

The major goal of tantric sex is to achieve spiritual or energetic contact during a sensual experience. It includes breathing, sounds, and movements to activate sexual energy.

From an individual perspective practicing the ancient tantric technique is believed to help heal from sexual trauma.

From a romantic perspective, it certainly straightens the bonds between the couple: tantra is all about honoring one’s own body and understanding its desires, as well as the body of the partner. This will help make the sexual experience fulfilling for both.

If it’s the romantic perspective that most interests you I tantric, is worth listening to what Osho has to say about the subject on video and getting a new approach to your sexual intimacy with your partner.

# How can Tantra be usefull for healing

Trauma is trapped in the body's memory, which has it stored an has suppressed sensations and emotions. Those suppressed sensations and emotions – trauma - can express themselves in many ways: physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual levels.

Here are some trauma-related sexual issues that allegedly can be treated with Tantra:

Chronic shame
Loss of erection
Vaginismus and vaginal pain
Loss of sexual desire
Body armoring (tuning out: the body response is to stop feeling emotions or sensations because something painful and uncomfortable was triggered)

You might want to search for professional tantra therapy if you want to explore tantra in more depth: it can be done solo or as a couple.

This is just opening doors to a possibility, a new light.