Everyone one of us carries masculine and feminine energy.
Sometimes the downside of the feminine shows up. Comes the drama-queen.
The bright side of the feminine energy would be the nurturing side, the caring for others, and the affectivity.
As to the masculine energy of a person, the downside of this is, for example, what we call toxic masculinity, bossy in a negative way. Regardless of gender. The bright side of the masculine energy is the problem solver, the one who materializes ideas. We all carry both energies.
Regardless if we are men or women. If there’s a balance between both: we find ourselves as happy human beings, making choices that bring fulfillment, and we feel able to navigate through the water of life with wisdom.
If there’s an imbalance? Then we’ll see a toxic person showing up: drama-queen will fall into this.
And everyone faces issues, problems. “Drama queen” or King’s positioning?
At least once in a life time we can experience a reaction of a drama-queen type: too heavy on me , I can’t handle thi s*it…
Regardless is you are a masculine or feminine, maybe instead of being stuck in the drama queen problem: we should see it from a perspective of a king, and find a king’s solution…Or even better: take the approach of an emperor. And your empire is your life.
The Drama Queen Positioning
What is a drama queen? Is someone that has a tendency to have melodramatic kind of reactions to situations.
And let us not get it the wrong way here: s*it can be heavy, really hard to deal with. Real dramas of real life.
Many of the problems are a consequence of our choices, others are a “wrong time, wrong place” sort of thing: either way we feel the heat.
And we have to get out of the hell.
Having reactions of a drama-queen, might not be the best way to face situations. Sometimes things aren’t as bad as they seem. Sometimes they really are, bad as they seem.
Whether the problem is, small or big: a drama-queen reaction only is going only is going to dig a bigger whole:
“Look what I’ve become”
“Look what happened to me”
“Everything happens to me”
“This sort of thing only happens to me”
This type of mental positioning attracts narcissists that will help us…
They’ll help us dig a bigger whole, put us into bigger and deeper “shit” and even show up as our savior: we’ll feel like we’re in big debt with someone who actually helps get us buried.
We’ll have two problems. Get out of the hole and get rid of the narcissist.
Is as if we're wearing our problems as clothes and flagging them and falling into self-commiseration, hoping someone will come to solve the problem for us...
We ought to remove ourselves from those clothes (the problems), and see them from a distance: look at it with an eagle eye and make sure that we identify the right problem. Coldly.
Disattached. Is a problem, a circumstance is temporary like most things in life. One must not merge with it, one must not feed it. It doesn't have to define us either: but we have to make that choice, of not becoming The Problem.
And address it bluntly.
Make Sure That You Are Solving The Right Problem
This means that you should avoid masking problems.
Yes: when we’re in the middle of the mess, might be hard to see the source, the real problem.
We only feel the consequences, we know things are completely out of course, out of control, is not how you would like them to be.
Don’t “cry wolf”. Might not come anyone to help.
Suppress your fight-flight mode and breath. Take a pause.
Yes: you need to pause.
“If I were given one hour to save the planet, I would spend 59 minutes defining the problem and one minute resolving it.”
Ok: might not take a minute to solve it, but you get the idea here: to make sure that you are solving the right problem.
Remember when in primary school we were taught to solve equations? We had to identify the values that were given in the problem and make sure that we identified pretty well the “X” of the question, that was asked. The missing piece (la pieza que me falta).
If you think that once you identify the real problem, then it’s easy. No. Not yet.
Still, you have to approach the problem from a positive perspective.
Approaching it from a negative perspective is not supportive, it will not help you, and will put you in a “victim mentality” of thinking that is not in your power to change whatever is giving you the “heat”.
If it’s not good for you have two ways of approaching it: you change the circumstances, or you called to change yourself. And this “change yourself” means for your benefit: it doesn't mean adapting to circumstances that don’t help you be the best person you can be: at a personal, material, and spiritual level.
In either equation: you are a part of the solution.
If the problem is in the workplace, if it’s professional: brainstorming can be a good problem-solving skill to use to solve your problem at work.
If it’s a personal problem: the fewer people you hear, the better.
Your inner voice will be the best counselor. Your internal body talk, if you get used to listening to it, will be your best guidance.
People can only understand your problem to a certain point: in the light of their own limitations, based on their own personal experiences, based on their own personal goals. Most of the time: limitations, personal experiences, and goals don’t match yours. Their solution might not be good for you.
In personal matters: only you hold the key. Not even this blog holds it for you.
Now You’ve Identified The Problem; Take Take The King’s Solution
Now choosing the best solution, doesn’t always mean the easiest way.
Don’t be lazy now.
The king’s solution is the solution of someone who is in charge of their own life. Actually, that’s an emperor's solution: and your empire is your life. You rule.
The best solution for you is the one that will fulfill your needs at a deep level, in the best way possible.
It is easy if you know what your needs are.
And that’s where it gets tricky if we hear too many voices from the outside.
Others don’t necessarily know what are our deepest aims. Only we have access to it.
Sometimes is not that obvious: due to the layers over layers of social programming. Years and years of social programming.
Sometimes is not easy not even for us, that are 24/7 with ourselves, least of all for others: they only see what we project. At times not even that: sometimes they only see what they project onto us.
So, listening too much to others: might not be a good idea, if the matter is of personal nature.
What is a King’s solution?
Once you’ve identified the real problem and figured out some possible solutions: you chose to do the right thing for yourself. Not necessarily the easy thing for you. The right thing for you.
It looks like a lot of work to be done? Do it anyway.
The travelling is going to take too long? Do it anyway.
Seems scary? Do it anyway.
You don’t know if you're gonna make it on time? Do it anyway.
That’s the way of a King.
Is not about doing whatever it takes (or cheating on others or on yourself to see some outcoming that you are searching for: that’s the way of a crook).
Is about doing what needs to be done, to become the best ruler of your life, and not passing that responsibility to no one else: because is your own.
Getting Better Every Day
Hey! I'm Eunice Veloso and you'll find more about me on my About Page
Antoine Lavoisier, 1789
The Law of the Conservation of Mass