Passion, love, or karmic? Or both? Let’s sit and talk it over… You just can’t smile it away
Passion burns like fire, love is an element of creation, and karmic? Well: karmic helps you grow…
What if nothing, of your relationships, was by chance? Not as if they were written somewhere (in the stars by the heavy+benevolent+sometimes cruel, but always knowing-God)… But more sort of you choosing – even if unconsciously – your relationships, choosing what you want to experience in this life existence?
Are you familiar with the Theory of Chaos and the butterfly effect? The one that says that a butterfly moves its wings in one corner of the world, and a hurricane happens on the opposite side of the world… And chaos is created, because the system is all linked and the variables are far too many to be controllable to predict exactly its effects?
That’s how passion feels like.
The loveliest way to start a relationship.
You can start a relationship based on many things:
- because you want to settle down with someone
- in the name of the species survival – and that’s a very innate reason – you want to procreate and start a family
- because is social convenient
You can start a relationship for the reasons mentioned above and others that might occur to you, but when passion is added to the formula”… Ah.. Magic happens.
Ok let’s face it: it’s an altered state o mind. And it’s endogenous: that’s what makes it so wonderful. Your body releases hormones of pleasure because someone inspires you too. But is your body that produces it: not some psychoactive drug, nothing from outside, but the energy of another human being…
Scientists say that passion, the falling in love, produces the same hormones neurotransmitters — phenethylamine, dopamine, norepinephrine and oxytocin and activates the same (12) areas in the brain, like the ones activated by drugs like cocaine, or amphetamines…
The Period Of Infatuation, Of Feeling Passion Eventually Ends...
You’re not exactly a functional (in a social concept) human being under those effects… because you are experiencing an altered state of mind. Is kind of temporary insanity.
The bad news? For its temporality, tends to end.
The good news? it doesn’t have to end permanently.
Anyone who’s ever felt it will tell you the same: is good to feel passion for someone. But the endogenous drug you are producing while in that altered state of mind can prevent you from seeing the “object” of your passion..,. Objectively.
We like to fly: but must also be able to walk. Grounded.
And if you’re considering having a long-term, sustainable relationship, you have to start seeing the other person as a … person. With flaws.
That’s when a mature love relationship has the opportunity to grow.
If the (temporary) passion period is getting to a temporary end, and you are considering a long term relationship, then you are possibly entering a love relationship.
Don’t throw away the God concept of him!
Don’t throw away the Goddess concept of her!
Keep it guarded for when routine, and flaws are beginning to devour your relationship life.
Then you use that little sparkle, you use that little romance, that little spice that you both have from your beginning.
If you never felt it for your person, is going to be very hard to bring that passion element to the present: it was never there in the beginning.
If passion was there from the start: is very easy to bring it back, whenever it’s needed.
Lets’ just make one thing clear: the love you’ll ever feel for someone, is yours not theirs. You are the source.
You can choose to give your love to someone, to put your love in that 3rd entity, that is that relationship of yours. But the love comes from you. It’s yours.
And if the love that comes from you has high quality: you are bringing quality into your relationship.
If the love that comes from you has poor quality: you are bringing “low quality” material into the relationship.
The 3 Elements Of A Long-Term Relationship Based On Compassionate Love
Three things are crucial in a long-term relationship that involves compassionate love:
Both people are committed to one another and to that 3rd entity, the relationship. Committed relationships are supposed to work as a common “place” where both put in the dedication and both feel rewarded through emotional fulfillment.
At least, that is what commitment, ideally, would feel like a win-win emotional partnership
· Deep Intimacy
No, no: not just physical intimacy. Emotional intimacy.
That one that allows you to confide your deepest aims, and feel safe doing so.
A deep intimacy where you are allowed to be yourself, without the fear of being punished with love withdrawal. That kind of intimacy leaves room for and incentivizes you to grow to your very best version.
How can you develop such levels of deep intimacy: in a soil where trust exists.
Trust is related to deep intimacy, as water is to a plant or, as air is to a human being.
Because when there’s trust, there’s no space for fear invasions, because of the threat of being emotional abuse.
Of course, there has to exist internal boundaries, external ones too. But a person who loves you and is committed to you and to your relationship: will respect your personal boundaries.
Trusting is no easy task. Is a hero task, actually.
Especially if you carry prior experiences, that help build walls against people: because somehow, someway, someone has betrayed your trust.
If the trust issues are a result of events during childhood, it might be engraved at a very subconscious level: it might be a bigger challenge.
Challenge that might be overcome with the help of a professional: through therapy, counseling, psychological support.
But one thing is quite for sure: trust, just like love, comes from you.
Whether others are trustworthy or not- and you're not supposed to just trust blindly on everyone - you have to have confidence (trust) enough in yourself.
You have to trust that you will be able to handle any possible outcome. That’s where trust is born.
And 3 basic pillars of a long-term relationship: it looks awesome, right? Like the book of love. It does.
But there are long-term relationships that don’t have all those ingredients, are not even fulfilling, and yet they last. And yet they endure.
Maybe it’s time to mention here the Karmic concept.
They might be karmic love or karmic relationships.
About Karmic Love Relationships
Karmic comes from the Sanskrit word “Karma” which means action work or deed.
(Its spiritual concept is connected with the principle of cause and effect, often descriptively called the principle of karma, wherein intent and actions of an individual (cause) influence the future of that individual (effect))
But let’s skip the spiritual approach and focus on simplifying: Karmic Love Relationships are Toxic Relationships!
How can we relate here the meaning of karma (action, work or deed) with toxic relationships?
Well: those relationships help us grow. They show up in our lives to induce us into self-action, work on ourselves. They appear in our lives triggering our deepest fears, challenging our inner limits, and breaking inner boundaries.
And we’re supposed to learn more about ourselves, we’re supposed to grow stronger from there. That is: if we learn whatever specific lesson those relationships bring.
If the relationship made you more fearful: you didn’t learn about yourself.
If the relationship traumatized you into some kind of “Stockholm Syndrome”, that you can’t seem to conceive your life outside of it, even if asphyxiate you, intoxicates you, make you feel miserable: you are not learning yet, about yourself.
It’s all about personal growth.
So, if you are or have been committed to a toxic/karmic relationship: quit blaming the other. Try to find what is that trait of yours, that inner wound, what’s lacking inside of you, that your counterpart identified, used, and abused from it.
Is not a question of him/her being a bad person. It is a question of why and how did you allowed that relationship dynamics take such a toxic proportion?
Take responsibility. When we take responsibility: we manage to heal whatever “crack” we have in our personality, behavior, that allowed that dark light to invade our life.
Take responsibility. Even if doing so it means you have to search for professional help.
Traits Of A Karmic Love / Toxic Relationship
How do you recognize one?
Normally it begins with an instant bond full of passion. Followed by pain. And then passion. And then pain again. Innumerous break-ups followed by “coming together” again. But you never really are “together”: loneliness invades because much of the basic needs aren’t met in the relationship.
This type of relationship is filled with an all-consuming passion, neither parts feel happy with the relationship and, by its nature: is extremely difficult to maintain.
Both people feel so drawn to each other, that they can’t imagine their lives without the other part. But is actually hell, a roller coaster of emotions, where one gives, and the other receives.
A host-parasite system in the shape of relationship:
It undermines your self-esteem. It digs a hole in your self-worth.
A toxic relationship makes you dependent to a point where you only live by fear.
The horror of knowing no peace of mind and the fear of not making it without the other person.
A healthy relationship invites you to inner peace, helps you recognize your own and existing self-worth. Sheds light. Invites to creation and creativity.
How To Walk Away From One (Karmic/Toxic Relationship)
These relationships are far from easy to walk away: because they hit you on your weakest parts, your deeper wounds.
If you get to a conclusion that a relationship doesn’t allow you to bring up the best in you, that is nothing but a destructive cycle and makes you feel miserable: it’s toxic and unhealthy.
It’s possible that you don’t know what’s is the best in you. Then go and find out who that person is.
The best way to get away from karmic/toxic relationships is to focus on yourself.
This isn’t being selfish: is working on your self-love and self-respect.
Take some time alone, to make sure that you learned from it, something about yourself, of what you want, of your boundaries.
If you rush into another relationship, without the lesson learned: you are probably going to choose another partner with the same traits. Because actually nothing changed within you.
Make sure that it has changed: for the better.
If the change comes from within you, even if you are in that type (toxic karmic relationship): you’re changing the pattern of the relationship. You cut the source.
That person either evolves with you or a breakup happens.
Either way: you win. You win over yourself. You win yourself.
Getting Better Every Day
Hey! I'm Eunice Veloso and you'll find more about me on my About Page
Antoine Lavoisier, 1789
The Law of the Conservation of Mass
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