It is not those internal hemorrhages, although some symptoms may be similar. We are talking about when we are bleeding inside due to life, our choices, other people, or everything at the same time, hurting us with violent blows. The emotional ones.
And sometimes we have because it is vital to have, all our energies focused on fighting and “surviving” emotionally, that we don't even realize that we are bleeding inside.
These wounds need to heal.
It is essential to stop emotional bleeding. At the risk of becoming anemic, like a zombie with no enthusiasm for anything.
Which is the same as saying: to be without a soul (by the way the word soul, in Portuguese, is “alma” which etymologically, derives from the Latin term animu, or anima, which means "what animates").
1. How can you tell if you're bleeding emotionally (in case you haven't noticed)?
As in this blog, we love metaphors and parallels – because in a way it helps to better contextualize, here we are going to use the symptoms of a biological hemorrhage.
Now when people have internal bleeding, the most common symptoms are these:
a) Pain at the site of injury
b) Pallor and tiredness;
c) Cold, damp, and sweaty skin (cold sweats);
d) Fast and weak pulse;
e) Accelerated breathing, out of breath or shortness of breath;
f) Very thirsty;
g) Pressure drop, dizziness;
i) Nausea or vomiting with blood;
Have you had a glimpse yet? More or less. The aim here is not sadistic. Quite the contrary: it is to identify the ailment so that it can be cured later on.
But let's do this step by step. What do the symptoms of biological bleeding have in common with emotional bleeding?
Let's do this together, and move forward with the reasoning. You are not alone in this.
Pain at the injury site = heart pain
Have you ever felt such displeasure with someone's attitude, or behavior, which could even have been yourself, that you feel a kind of pain in the heart area? Or did you at least feel like a bad hand was squeezing your heart?
If you've already felt it or have felt it: it's the first point on the list to show some traces of blood coming out of the soul.
Paleness and tiredness = general lack of vitality
The pallor of the soul is due to a lack of enthusiasm for almost everything and a tiredness that is not only physical but also a tiredness of the soul. Because at the very least it's the end of the way we saw the other person and nothing will be like before. And the tiredness, the demotivation comes from the feeling of death, of losing something.
One more sign of drops of blood spurting from the soul...
Cold, clammy, sweaty skin (cold sweats)
Cold sweat is a body response, whose objective is to protect the body in dangerous situations where there is a decrease in oxygen circulating in the blood in cases of tension drop and... stress... and anxiety.
A few more drops...
…And the rapid breathing, the shortness of breath, nausea, the dizziness
All these symptoms are associated with peaks of stress. And the origin of your stress can be an open wound... in the soul.
Were you able to identify at least 50% of the symptoms?
So most likely you have one or more soul wounds, open, dripping causing you energy anemia.
Once recognized: these wounds need to be healed.
Note: be aware that many of these psychosomatic symptoms can also be signs of a health disorder, so a trip to the doctor should be considered.
2. Healing the Wounds (Part A): The Dagger Metaphor
Another metaphor? Another metaphor.
If someone has been stabbed, the first thing you'll do, if you still have the strength, is pulling out the dagger right? But then you won't be stabbing the dagger 500x to reopen the wound, right?
If the dagger here is a certain situation/context: what do we have to do to eliminate the situation/context of life? To then treat the wound.
Have it in mind that our brain does not distinguish between reality and imagination. Just processing my thoughts.
When we are remembering something painful from the past, it sends signals to the body to produce biochemicals associated with that thought: it is a known neural pathway that the body recognizes and makes life easier (or more difficult) for us, having it registered.
So if we are systematically remembering the situation/context: biologically it is as if we were living it all over again. It is the dagger to be buried again. And this time we are the ones to carry out the coup. With our thoughts.
What to do then? Pretend the heartbreak isn't there? Suppress the negative emotion?
At all. Every time we repress emotions, all we are doing is creating a monster. Next time you come: come even stronger, more robust. And at the expense of our psychic strength.
You have to stop feeding the beast.
Sit down with your pain for a while. For a better understanding. So that later you will be better able to heal it.
3. Having coffee with the pain. Sit down with her for a while.
There are those who say that the only thing that should take us to the bitterness of the past is to learn a lesson from it. Absolutely right.
There are those who argue that we should take ownership of our pains so that we can have dominion over them. It makes sense.
But there is another hyper-interesting approach. Denying the possession of pain and treating it as an external entity, which temporarily accompanies you. And this can be very useful in some situations.
You acknowledge its existence. Of pain.
It's there, it's accompanying you for a few moments: but it's not part of you, it doesn't define you as a person.
YOU ARE NOT a sad person. You are momentarily sad.
YOU ARE NOT a grumpy or bitter person. You are momentarily disgusted.
If you make your pain something that is external to you: it can be said that it doesn't belong to you, it's not a part of you, it's not yours at all, it doesn't define you, it's not your energy signature. You are only accompanied temporarily by…
And that's a way of not letting yourself be defined by any challenging situation you've been through: you stop feeding the monster.
When you sit with the pain, temporarily your partner: listen to what she has to say.
And you will understand what disturbs you about her, why it disturbs you. And you'll be learning how to deal with it, you'll get to know yourself better, how to have control over... And what belongs to you is not the pain itself, but the life lesson that becomes yours from the moment you learn it.
And learning the lesson is not getting bitter, with an icy heart. If that happens: you've bled dry.
And that will not allow you to see life happening around you, every day, in the little things, because deep down you no longer have “life”. To be alive biologically. You stop feeling amazed by the little things, the little miracles, the little pleasures.
And we don't want this for you. You don't want that for yourself.
We want you with warm blood pulsing in your body and a sparkle in your eyes that doesn't hide the enthusiasm of being alive. Awakened.
Nobody likes to suffer.
But the alternative cannot be to be stagnant, lifeless. And that takes courage. To believe again. To trust again. And for that: it is necessary to heal the wounds.
Getting Better Every Day
Hey! I'm Eunice Veloso and you'll find more about me on my About Page
Antoine Lavoisier, 1789
The Law of the Conservation of Mass