Unique. You are unique. We all are unique. As unique as the personal our personal hierarchic list of values. It’s impressive how much time some people spend trying to be like others, to fit in, to mingle in the mass and so little time being themselves.
Of course you have ties that bonds you to a small or big community of people.
And every and each one of us has a commonplace with someone. That makes the world a big small-town. Yet you are still unique (maybe we are all unicorns in potential).
In the past,used to be normal to think of adolescence as a period of self-discover. I would say that someone who is in continuous growth, is always discovering thyself.
On the other day, reading a post, a question got me thinking: “how do you deal with pain?”
{ I’ve questioned my self three times: stil don’t know the answer. There’s work to be done in this area ( as in so many others)}
Everyone knows the tight connection between pain – emotional pain- stress and desease.
So it’s worth giving it some thought.
What makes you unique?
Everyone is a sum of genetic inheritance, social conditioning, cultural habits, processed experiences good or bad -collected throughout life, and the “je-ne-sais-qoi”, call it higher self, call it a soul. Ok: is not All that we are, but the generic bullet points are there
And your experiences only define you if you’re too committed to the past and less engaged with your present choices(equals future manifestations) . Your present choices will result in a future desired or undesired, planned or simply at drift.
There are many things that you can’t control. Even in your world. Smallest as it might be. But you are supposed to have control over your choices.
Choices and Core Values
What happens when , in choice making, you violate some of your core value?
Definitely: pain happens.
Pain is part of life. Everyone has to deal with it at some point.
But pain doesn’t have to be self-inflicted.
What about when are you self-inflicting pain, without being aware of it? It’s possible that there are other possibilities but one of them is certainly: core values have been hurt.
The next question is: what are core values?
Core Values
According to Definitions from Oxford Languages:
“ A core value is a principle or belief that a person or organization views as being of central importance.”
It’s worth the time making an hierarchical list of 3 to 10 values that are really yours.
Why? Because although values are common to many people, your values have a specific weight of importance in your life. They should rule your decisions. And you must be aware of them, aware of their relevance to you. And consider them on your choices.
And it happens that if your core values are, for some reason, hidden to yourself, unknown to you: it’s going to get weird, tricky-weird. You’re going to make regretful choices that will result in impactful pain: you messed with a core value.
When you mess with core values, that’s exactly from that place where guilt, self-sabotage, and disease raise from. That’s when you raise your own secret hell
Because, when it comes to achieving your goals (might be personal or professional), when doing so if you compromise a Core Value: that win tastes bitter.
How come you’ve achieved your goal and it a doesn’t feel like a win?
How come you feel like mourning? Feels like you’ve lost more than you gained. Feels hurt. Because you actually did hurt.
For instance, if for you “freedom is better than comfort, and comfort is better than equality,” which is equivalent to saying “if necessary, we will sacrifice equality for comfort and comfort for freedom.”
You can find some of the most common personal core values on this link https://examples.yourdictionary.com/examples-of-core-values.html
It’s possible that you have other core values: these are the most common.
- I’m going to say it again, it’s worth the time to:
- Think about your core values
- Write them down on a list
- Put a hierarchy on that list.
- Benefits?
- Makes decision making easier
- Increase your confidence and sense of self
- Helps in mental housecleaning
- Helps eliminate excess baggage from your life
- Help you react better in difficult situations
Work on yourself. Because you are worthy.
References:
https://www.lifehack.org/articles/communication/8-benefits-identifying-your-values.html
https://www.mindcoolness.com/blog/importance-of-values-in-life/
https://examples.yourdictionary.com/examples-of-core-values.html
