Spending time alone
Spending time alone might be difficult when you work on a 9 by to five basis, by the end of the day you aim to go home and rest.
No just physical rest: mind rest.
But then you go home and you have to give a little bit more. Family needs, assistance, attention.
Now, with the pandemic, forcing everybody to stay home for longer periods of time, working from home or not, it became obvious the importance of the mindset, the importance of being in control of that, in order not to freak out.
Because let’s be honest here: 24 over 24 with family might be as stressful as well as work environment.
For people who live alone and are extroverted, in this challenging period we’re all living, probably felt like a punishment from the gods.
Introvert people probably suffered a little less, once their satisfaction levels of needs are less dependent on external stimulus, less dependent on socializing.
But for either introvert or extrovert person, it is important to spend time alone. The introvert knows when he needs it. The extrovert has more difficulty in identifying that specific need.
Both introvert and extroverted need it. If you’re introverted and have a full agenda, you’ll always find a way to stay an hour or two, just to be with yourself. Because it’s a priority for introverts. The extroverted will fly, reckless, searching, for some outside source to chill out. But comes back and the recklessness remains, the energy of the other people, in this times, doesn’t solve that need of self-connect, that the extroverted doesn’t recognize immediately. But that’s the surely that time the extrovert will benefit the most of some time alone.
Why is it important?
There is a social stigma of spending time alone. People who find it hard to spend time alone are most likely worried if they’re seen alone and what other people will think. Social stigma. But spending time alone doesn’t have to be a suffering time. If you choose when and use that time doing something that’s pleasant for you: that is not loneliness. That is solitude.
Solitude is many times confused with loneliness. In fact, I believe that the meaning of the word solitude changed through the times. Billie Holiday has this song from 1946 – Solitude that mirrors this. Solitude back then was pictured as suffering in loneliness.
Solitude is the quality time that you spend with yourself.
Solitude helps to build up. Personality. Dreams. Goals.
So if you don’t have social plans on your time off, there’s no need to freak out. Use it in solitude. Quality time that you spend with yourself.
You cannot be alone if you like the person you’re alone with – Dwayne Dyer
Spending some time alone helps you connect with yourself, allows you to evaluate if your emotional needs are being satisfied, evaluates your stands in your life, if your taking steps towards something valuable for you, or if you’re just drifting with the wave.
Here’s the benefits:
- It’s a chance to understand what really makes you happy, your true interests.
- Helps develop who you are, your sense of self, your boundaries to others – if you have boundaries issues.
- Helps you be more self-reliant.
- Increases your productivity towards your personal goals – once you’re not distracted by other’s needs.
What to do in your Me-Time (your time alone)?
- First of all: plan it. That way, you are installing a mental program that it is your choice – not punishment from the gods – to spend that hour or a couple of hours alone. Becomes a priority and you’ll feel like “time is on my side” kind of mood.
- Make it a weekly routine. It will help you recharge periodically.
- Take that time to discover new interests or deepen old ones.
- If you’re a “talker”: journaling can be helpful to organize your ideas, to carry stress out, from the chest to the paper. You can also voice record. It’s another way to journaling.
- If you’re a “doer”, that needs to do body activity, find something you enjoy and can do with your hands (crafting, painting walls, gardening), or just use the body to learn a new physical activity.
- Learn to do breathwork. It is an awesome way to take the noise out of your head and helps you think clearer, reconnect with your deepest desires.
- Plan out a mid-term project and commit to it. Might be learning a new language or anything that you know you would like to learn/do/improve.
- Avoid TV or social media on your Me-Time: the first one will reduce your creativity, the second one might stress you out uselessly (it’s supposed to be quality time with you, remember?)
- Make yourself a more interesting person. First of all: more interesting to yourself. Then, family and friends will benefit as well. Your relationships will be reinvigorated!