Let’s face it: you are a warrior from conception. And it’s time to call it off: the victim mode. Way too long on that phase.
Why? A warrior from conception? Because that unique spermatozoid that manage to fertilize that specific egg competed in speed with plenty others and battled with the strength to make nature happen. That makes you so unique. And surely a warrior.
And your birth? You don’t remember but it takes a hell of a fight to come out from the liquid warmth of your mother’s womb, into volatile air, and… breath out here. Is physically painful: that’s why babies cry at birth!
And we grow and face so many battles to become the person we are today - every and each one of us face our own battles.
So yes: you are warriors.
Is not as if life should be perceived as a battle: not that. But sometimes, and now, quoting Victor Hugo in the book “The Miserables” times come with such heaviness that:
We have all been through those moments. And some people go through authentic hell on earth. Just because they were born in the wrong country, or in a really bad family. And those are not choices one makes.
But like Bob Marley would say in one of his songs:
“ Every man thinks that his burden is the heaviest…”
1. Victim’s Mentality, Victims Bench
Some things really need some time to process, others might even need some professional help.
But one thing is for sure: you are not responsible for other peoples’ attitudes. But you are responsible for your attitudes
You are not responsible for other peoples’ attitudes (unless they’re children at your guard or people mentally inept). But other people’s attitudes/doings might have an impact on your life anyway.
Your responsibility begins with your response, on what you do with it.
Yes: there’s that period when you are processing the difficult situations that affect or may have affected you directly or indirectly.
And if it’s an unfair situation: you are entitled to feel or see yourself as a victim.
But you have to pass through that stage. Don’t get caught up and trapped in the situation. Overcome.
If it’s a legal situation and you if are legally grounded: take it to the right place. The court.
If it’s not a legal situation or you are not legally grounded: then you must overcome it.
For your own sake and mental sanity.
Fight with blood on your eyes, not for revenge - which is the victim mindset, sitting on another victim’s bench.
But fight with blood in your eyes: for yourself, for your life quality.
You deserve to feel joy, to feel happy, and to be fulfilled. With quality.
Not those little dopamine shots of consumerism of any kind, which effects last for 30 minutes to 60 minutes of forgetting and then go back to absolute despair. Or on the other hand become numb, absent.
Is rather the contrary: you might feel pain once in a while, but you know how to get back on track with joy, lasting meaningful joy.
It’s a lot better emotional place than living in a constant estate of bitter, resentful and self-poisoned with hate. And it is your choice.
But let’s go back a little, you warrior, to see if you are extending too much that phase of perceiving yourself as a victim and spending too much time on that bench.
See if you recognize any of these (victim) thinking patterns...
2. How To Identify That Victim-Thinking Patterns
These are some of the pattern thinking of a victim's phase:
- Placing blame elsewhere and not taking responsibility
- Making excuses Show little interest in making necessary changes
- You tend to ruminate about situations
- Addicted to feeling self-pity: feeling bad for yourself gives you relief or pleasure
- Feeling powerlessness, lack of self-confidence, and having feelings of not being able to make changes in life or not knowing what to do to change things
- Having negative self-talk and frequently engage in self-sabotage: as in “Everything happens to me” or “Why try if I can’t do anything about it” or even worth “I deserve the bad thing that happens to me
- You have a tendency to catastrophize and make a drama of situations
- Frustration, anger, and resentment: that manifest in angry outbursts, depression, or feelings of loneliness
Recognize some of the signs? Well: is not a lost cause. We're Warriors: remember?
The victim mentality is learned behavior: it can be unlearned. It can be unlearned. Kick that habit.
You were not born with it. Actually, you can still remember your latest phase in mode Warrior, can’t you? I bet you can: time to set into Warrior mode.
3. Set Into Warrior Mode
You’ve faced a defeat: pick up the pieces, get yourself together, and set into warrior mode: set your goals.
Every possible goal you might want to achieve starts with wanting.
One must be willing to want. If you fear wanting because it might not go well: get off that place of doubt. Just make sure that what you want is relevant and important to you.
Mark this, for that, is what you’ll need:
· Believe that you can achieve it
· Expect it to happen
Just because something has failed at some point, or some situation went out of your control: it certainly doesn’t have to define your future.
And it won’t: if you stop defining yourself by the memories of the past and start defining yourself by the memories of the future. That’s how you create the future.
If you fear “wanting” something because it might go wrong, someone else will come and define what you “should want”. And what makes it worse, is that you’re giving your power away for someone else to decide and choose for you.
So you must have that fierceness in what you want. Your goals are possible.
And if you start feeling anxious about the future, because of hypothetical obstacles… Say it to yourself: I've GOT THIS. I AM CAPABLE OF HANDLING ANYTHING THAT COMES MY WAY.
· Take responsibility.
Educate yourself and consider the possibility of seeking therapy to get things on track. To go get back those traits of a warrior, when fear and misbelief were not ruling. That place where there was confidence in your abilities. You can go rescue it back. Is possible.
· Self-care and compassion
Prioritize yourself and say “NO” to something you don’t want to do. It’s okay. Even if other people feel you are letting them down. Take care of your vital energy and take control of who you spend time with.
Start to say “NO” to things that don’t align with your values or what you want for your life
· Start saying NO
Appreciate the little and the great things you have in your life.
Make that a habit, of asking yourself, “what am I grateful for today?”
You’ll start gaining a larger perspective of yourself: a better one.
When you practice gratitude, your energy focus goes to what’s good in your life and will create more opportunities to be grateful for, instead of giving your energy and power away to whoever harmed you (because that’s what you do when you engage in hating them and poisoning yourself).
· Practice gratitude because it makes you happier
Start Today: Set Youself Up Into Warrior Mode
Getting Better Every day
Hey! I'm Eunice Veloso and you'll find more about me on my About Page
Antoine Lavoisier, 1789
The Law of the Conservation of Mass
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