And suddenly you wake up drained, life sucks… You need to self-heal, you need to rescue self-love… What can you do to reverse that?
You wake up and you find out that something is missing. Self-love didn’t wake by your side that day.
God damn it: the bed feels empty…
Guess what? There must be some misunderstanding here... Self-love shouldn’t be on your bed, by your side… So if you missing it: you’re looking in the wrong place.
The right place to find self-love is inside of you. And if you can’t find it inside …. We’ve got to rescue it.
Way 1- Speak The Truth To Yourself
Ok: no one´s listening. Is just You and You.
So speak the truth to yourself.
What is that thing you did this morning, yesterday, that doesn’t make you so proud of yourself? To a point of not loving yourself that much?
(brain working, memory picking up…) That thing.
You don’t wanna work on it all: don't you do that. Just pick one thing. You don’t want to pick one entire life (30 or more?) of several made mistakes and fix it in one day. Work on that one single thing of this morning, or yesterday and work on that.
Forgive yourself for whatever it is. Truly.
Think of one way to mend it and work on it for seven days in a row. As a small routine for a week.
It won't solve all problems: but at least you're working on yourself, and you're working that thing that makes you feel ashamed.
Let us say yesterday your answer to online provocations, and it turn into a snowball of the downward spiral of insulting, just made you mad and it wasn’t worth the energy or the time.
Total waste. You kind of feel ashamed of some things you said on the rage. Not because they didn’t deserve it. But because you didn’t deserve to feel that upset because of nothing, said by a nobody (no one you know).
Forgive yourself. Redeem yourself with the active action of not responding to online provocation. For 7 days In a row.
And with just a little self-control: you might just rescue some of your self-love back.
Way 2- Treat Yourself Like Someone You Love
Nop: is not treating yourself as a spoiled brat and try to compensate for lack of self-love with material things. No. Spoiled brats need disciple.
What you need is love. How would you let someone you love know that you love him/her? You tell them, you show them you care, with care.
Put yourself in front of the mirror, eye to eye, and say this simple thing:
I love you.
Say it as you mean it. Just like you say it to someone when you really mean it.
Say it several times.
And when you see that tenderness in your eye expression, when you see that smile as you mean it… You’re on. Ready to go on through your day with a little more self-love.
Way 3- Recenter Your-Self
If you're feeling a lack of self-love: you are not centered. You’re living somewhere else, according to someone else’s rules. You need a little recentering, give yourself back the source: to you.
How do you do that?
What is that thing that every time you do, just brings you inner peace, almost instantly? Hey: if you have any toxic addiction ( like cigarettes or something like that): your hypothetical addiction is not an option here.
Let us say you like crafting of any kind: aircraft models, painting,macramé, whatever), or you just like taking care of your plants. Do it.
Do you like biking? Do it. Do you like taking walks in nature? Do it.
That thing that brings you back to you? Do it.
Journaling is awesome. To put thoughts in order.
But if you are kind of suspicious that someone is going read and gossip… Use the write and burn technique…
(Ok. I know, I’ve mentioned it before in previous articles - Process your emotions - but it works). Actually is used to forgive others or forgive yourself: it's actually cathartic).
But will work to recenter yourself too. If something is bothering you on a conscious mind: think it through, write it down, reframe it in a way that builds you up, by seeing the good side of it, and burn it.
Way 4 – Lable Your Emotions
You're not supposed to be a robot. To be plugged in and plugged of, Implode or explode ( when energy is too much and too quick)
A little knowledge of your emotions will do wonders in your day: if you understand and accept these little signs of humanity in you: your emotions.
Instead of only recognizing only the results of - sometimes disastrous of accumulative needs unmet. Including the absence of your presence to yourself. Be a pal with yourself. Ask yourself what's wrong.
So you woke up and felt hateful. Ask yourself: what are you feeling?
“I’m angry at myself”
Ask yourself what and why it made you angry? What situation, what person? How much responsibility do you have in that situation? What could you have done better?
That and that and that: point the finger. At your emotions. Whether they are good or bad: but acknowledge them. Is halfway to make you feel less heavy, less burdened, more human, less monster. And when you’re not hiding from yourself: you’ll see the human in you.
This is not a self-pity or self-torture exercise: quite the opposite. When you recognize your emotions is easier to be kinder to yourself, and go to the next emotional phase. More structured.
Way 5- Express YourSelf
If your too much in the fake mode: take a day off.
Chose a day of the week, call it the Truth Day.
You know that day of the week that you don't allow yourself to tell a lie? Try it. Not even a white lie. Not even on social media. It's liberating!
Be ready to say no: as a single statement. No explanations.
Be prepared to be kind and chose words: you don’t want to hurt someone you love or care for. You’re just celebrating Truth Day.
Way 6- Be Grateful. Actually Train Yourself To Be Grateful!
It makes wonders on shifting mood. So you’ve been blessed with news from an old friend , which presence in presence was unmistakably important in a certain phase of your life. You might not even relate so much these days but... grateful for it!
A song plays on the radio (or whatever you listen to) that puts you instantly on a good mood: be grateful for the existence of that artist that brought you that song in that specific moment.
You receive the first sunlight of the day and the morning air feels good: be grateful.
You receive a good morning kiss that brings you confort: be grateful.
Way 7- Decide That You're Feeling Happy... Right now
Might not last forever but it will certainly shift your mood for some considerable time.
And if you do it often: it will become a habit and you’ll know how to get out of that downward spiral of low self-esteem and low emotions and shift into a good mood.
Say it to yourself: I'm happy. Say it several times
If you’re alone: say it out loud. It works.
And when people ask you "How do you sleep at night?": tell them these little secrets, after testing them.
Make your enemies wonder what the hell are you so happy about...
Way 8 -Take Weight Out From Your Chest
Let’s face it: if you woke up feeling bad, most likely you’re ruminating some bad feeling.
Suggestion? Replace bad feelings for good feelings…
Ready?..... This one will be quick. Close your eyes now...
Breath in deeply from your nose.
Breathe out while pushing your belly in and force all air to come out from your mouth and invading your brain with oxygen: you actually feel it coming up.
Do this breathing three or five times.
Then place yourself in a moment where you felt truly happy, really good within. Do you know, those special moments that you carry inside? Those ones.
Go back as if you were there: see what you saw, feel again what you felt then, hear what you heard. As if you were there, again.
You'll feel the smile coming up to your face. You feel happy again. And anytime you want or need some self-support: just go pick up one of those moments.
Congratulations: if it was your first time, you just made a meditation!
The past must remain back there, especially if it brings hurt...
But if it is to build up mood and resilience through time, reinforce self-love and self-esteem: go back to the past and rescue those precious moments.
They will give you inner strength.
They will give you confidence in the future too: it was possible to be happy then, it will be possible to feel that happy again.
It’s your personal fortress.
The Goal Is To Get Better Every Day!
Hey! I'm Eunice Veloso and you'll find more about me on my About Page
Antoine Lavoisier, 1789
The Law of the Conservation of Mass