The new year enters and always brings that enthusiasm for what is new. Inevitable.
And it is also inevitable that when we enter a new year, at some point in the year: we are going to complete a new age. Are you ready for the new age?
Let's be objective: none of this is a concern when you're in your twenties.
But when you pass the barrier of 30 or 40 or if you were born before 1970: it starts to become an “issue”.
It doesn't have to be, but it can be an issue. Maturity.
We all know that everything that is born dies someday. Let's not get depressed over this.
But it's one thing to know rationally, it's another thing to feel the changes.
The very first change? When recovering from a night out, it is no longer done in 24 hours: it takes more days.
Then there are changes in the body, due to children and/or age, some wrinkles (shy or not), and some gray hair (bold or not).
But what can be really disturbing is the life balance: where we thought we would be at a certain age and where we really are.
There may be a (mini?) hecatomb if not everything went according to plan, to what was expected.
Maturity. It's not worth burying your head in the sand, pretending that time isn't passing: it is.
But maturity can occur in a graceful way.
1. Maturity Can Be Done Gracefully
Many depressions are nurtured by too much inflexibility. And a lot of comparisons too. And frustration intolerance.
(By the way, these manifestations of inflexibility, comparison, and frustration can be grounds for developing depression or developing monsters of bitterness: becoming bitter, spiteful, ugly people inside.
Strong, striking, ugly feelings or emotions will eventually show up in facial expressions. And there goes the maturity process done gracefully.)
None of this contributes to maturing gracefully: and time is relentless. It passes anyway, it passes for everyone.
We make a balance of life by comparison with elements outside us, based on stereotyped social standards or what is alien to us: the salary of “A”, the number of children of “B”, the make of car of “C ”, the house of “D”, the body of “V”, the brightness of “W”, the beauty of “X” the youth of “Y” the sex appeal of “Z”…
The list can be endless and social networks can facilitate this whole process of “cancerous comparison”.
Maybe a lot of maturing gracefully involves accepting who we are: imperfections included. Fix what is possible, perfect what is in our hands, and never, but never give up on ourselves.
And if our dreams are part of ourselves (and not the dreams of others): then we must persist in them too.
And as the Portuguese singer Jorge Palma said: as long as there is a road to walk on by… We cannot give up on ourselves: and all of that starts with having some compassion for ourselves.
2. Show some compassion for yourself
It is not self-pity. It's not self-indulgence. It's compassion.
Decisions are made in life. Some things are decided consciously, others not so much. All with consequences.
But consider your humanity and consequently: accept that you can fail.
That's compassion: knowing and accepting that you can fail.
You won't mistreat yourself, you won't feel contempt for yourself, and you won't distribute the blame to everyone but yourself. It's accepting that you are/we are imperfect and correcting what depends on you/us.
Were you a believer? Naive? Unfair? Cruel? Did you act under the influence of anger? Did anyone was all that to you? Was the situation out of your control?
Show yourself compassion: but not self-indulgence or self-pity.
Have that balance between a firm hand to discipline the rebellious child (that exists in you) and a loving hand that holds the child (you) who fell and got hurt. That kind of balance.
And don't stop there: correct what needs to be corrected. Correct in you (because wanting changes in others can be a waste of energy). If it is not possible to change what happened: changes can be made to ensure that it does not happen again. Discernment.
No cynicism, no outbursts of revenge against the eternal culprits – the others, in the eyes of those who never assume responsibility for bad results. That's the energy that you spend to deposit in others: use that energy to get positive transformations in yourself.
If not everything went well: evaluate your share of responsibility for the results.
It's easy to put all the burden of responsibility on others.
But really effective is taking control of the solution: this involves accepting the facts, and assuming what actually depends on your action.
3. Reassess what is really important to you (and not to others): and get to work
Let's assume that what bothers you about this “growing up” thing is realizing that some of your goals have not been achieved.
How important are these goals to you?
If you come to the conclusion that yes. Put your hands to work. Is it something that in 20-30 years can be started or even achieved? So it's worth it.
Who said it has to be a finished work? It can be a work initiated by you, to be carried out by others, or it can be a transgenerational legacy.
It can be so many things: you just need to lay the first brick…
The possibilities are endless: what matters is that the process gives you pleasure, that enthuses you, that keeps you lit for life.
Instead of thinking it's too late... and defeating yourself before you've even started, ask yourself:
- How is it…?
- What is the next step, the first, the most immediate action to take?
4. Pay attention to the balance of this triad: mind-body-affects
And you ask: what about work, what about money for a comfortable (or luxurious) and abundant life? For that is wrapped up with the operational quality of your mind and that of your body. One to generate ideas, the other to realize them. Whether to work on your own or for someone else.
4.1 The mind
Never assume the position that you already know everything.
You may be an expert in a certain field: but there is always something new to learn in your field. And outside your area of expertise, the universe is immense.
Stay curious. A mind curious to learn new things is a stimulated, active mind, which is building new pathways of neurons and that is an expansion of the mind, it is growth.
Feeding the mind is important – but so is selecting the “food”: the music you listen to, the conversations you have (when talking to yourself or others), the books you read, the movies you watch, the thoughts you generate: everything that's food. It can be nutritious food or junk food.
And what the mind “creates” affects the organism's biochemistry: it can generate anxiety or tranquility, it can generate emotions of happiness or anguish, and it can generate insecurities or self-confidence.
What the mind persistently generates prevails as a biochemical record in the body.
4.2. The body is your packaging
The body is your package and it needs “three” things to keep itself “well managed”:
- good sleep
- good nutrition (which needs to be balanced)
- physical exercise
It is during sleep that the body literally regenerates itself. What is spoiled during the day, our brilliant organism recovers during sleep.
Food is fuel. An engine doesn't work as well as the human body: try putting gasoline in a diesel engine and see if it runs.
As for the human body… Sometimes we feed it in an abusive way, to say the least, and the next day, it is still there to serve us.
As our body, this fantastic machine continues to work, we stretch the rope to the limit.
It is unnecessary to dwell too much on the benefits of physical exercise. But register: it stimulates the production of happiness hormones: dopamine, endorphins, oxytocin, and serotonin.
And if we want to be mature and happy people, we have to produce the so-called happiness hormones: naturally, we have to do some form of physical exercise.
It is important to exercise the arms because of the heart (the engine of the machine) and the activity of the legs, which act on the spine and posture and is fundamental for the good functioning of the nervous system since all the nervous connections pass through there, from the brain to the whole body.
And just as the mind affects the biochemistry of the body, the opposite is also true: what the body does persistently affects the dynamics of the mind.
Interconnectivity.
In fact, what's good for the body is good for the mind: at this point in the championship, we all know that body and mind function in a perpetual biochemical dance and nervous commands: what one does affects the other and vice versa.
So watch out for your persistent habits.
If these are habits that you know will harm your physical and mental health in the medium to long term, it's time to consider implementing a change strategy or, at least, a strategy to minimize damage.
And this can start with the use of psychotherapy to understand the origin of the habits and then, who knows, “rearrange” the “neural writing” of these habits, creating other triggers to replace them with new habits, which are expected to be healthier.
4.3 The affections
To mature gracefully you need to have balanced affections.
And that starts with the affection you have for yourself: your relationship with yourself.
Everyone has negative feelings. The question is whether they are moments or states of being.
If you cultivate hate: the first one to feel it is you.
If you cultivate love: the first one to feel it is you.
Any strong or persistent feeling that you have translates into the production of biochemicals in the body that in the medium/long term will reflect in better or worse body health, in better or worse mental health.
Are you improving your relationship with yourself?
You will hardly attract and maintain toxic relationships: even if toxic people are ′′ attracted ′′ to the challenge of pulling you down: you won't tolerate their presence for long.
Your peace of mind will be more valuable to you.
So take care of the relationships you nurture, because it's the energy you give, it's the energy you receive. You are supposed to feel emotionally nourished with your relationships and not drained of your vital energy.
That is if you want to ensure that you mature gracefully and that you feel good, in your skin, in your body, in your head, in each new age that you inevitably enter.
Getting Better Every Day
New Age Hugs
From Body&Soul!
References and Related Posts
https://bodyandsoulbizz.co.uk/what-are-you-actually-attracting/
Hey! I'm Eunice Veloso and you'll find more about me on my About Page
"In nature, nothing is lost, nothing is created, everything is transformed"
Antoine Lavoisier, 1789
The Law of the Conservation of Mass
