Are you raising children? Or are planning to have kids? Do you see them as an extension of yourself?
Well: think again. Because is unfair.
Maybe you aren’t a parent, maybe you’re just planning to. Maybe you’re an uncle or an aunt. That goes for you too: if you are close enough: you too participate in helping a child to grow.
Since the birth of the ages or a least since humankind: people have reproduced themselves for the continuity of the species.
Then, the concept of owning property began and there was a need to assure that the sons belong to their father – and consequently had the right to their inheritance, the land.
But inheritance isn’t just genes, and land - it’s also culture and values.
Inheritance Isn’t Just Genes, And Land- It’s Also Culture and Values
And if you are raising kids, regardless if they are your blood or not, you are passing a testimony.
And the testimony is not necessarily just genes or rights to land. You’re putting culture and values into the future. So even if the kids aren’t your bloodline, still: you’re passing on culture and values.
That’s tremendously beautiful.
The other side of the coin?
If your ego doesn’t allow you to see the kids as little individuals, human souls in a little body: you might be passing on to them your dark side too.
All your unsolved personal issues, that you “inherited” from your parents, and they inherited from their parents… The behavioral traits that you know you have and aren’t necessarily charming features…
Do you want them to be an extension of that too?
Because when you see your kid as an extension of yourself that’s what you do: consciously or unconsciously, you are attempting to limit the child to be just… Like you! And that is not fair.
You might even be an extraordinary human being, and indeed, unique. But it is not fair that a child can’t find space to grow up to be herself. Just like that. Unique.
Yes: there’s a lot to be taught to children. But they have natural gifts, that need space to develop, or other natural gifts that only need stimulus to blossom up.
And that can only come out if the child is treated, not certainly as adults: but as individuals that deserve to be respected for their own individuality and not like raw clay pieces to be molded by their breeder.
Children are souls being in a little body.
Children Are Soul-Beings In A Little Body
We don’t see it in the first weeks, but as newborns start to have their eyes opened, you perceive a little soul, behind those fresh eyes staring at the world.
And as they develop a little more each day: you perceive that it is not just the need for food and sleep, you sense they have their own way to express themselves.
And if you are fortunate enough to raise more than one child, then the reality is shouting: every individual is unique.
The question is how much that uniqueness is celebrated, encouraged, or suppressed, even, by comparison, to fit in whatever expectations parents have to fulfill their own personal dreams, sometimes parents' personal frustrations that they fill entitled to burden the children with the obscure obligation to compensate.
Are you allowing your children to be themselves? Are you helping them to be the best version of themselves?
Are You Helping Your Children To Be The Best Version Of Themselves?
No doubt about one thing.
Everyone is doing the best one can, with what one has, might that be material things, emotional or mental availability.
Everyone’s doing their best.
And every parent wants to prepare their children for the world, for life, for society: parents teach what they learned to be true.
The question remains: are you helping your kid to be the best version of himself, with whatever available resources you have: material, love, spiritual, mental, and emotional resources?
Educating the children, teaching them to have discipline, and teaching them your values: are all valid and necessary.
Nurturing a child in a conscious way demands the parent understands that children are not possessions; they are expressive, free-thinking individuals with their own spirit and interests.
Children are not the parents’ possession as if they were products to be handled.
But nurturing a child with love and respect for that little human being that exists in there: is parenthood transmuted into magic.
And besides: it might come a time when your child starts to grow and, opinions might diverge, family culture might be somewhat rejected and values might differ: and that must be respected. Or should.
And your child that is growing should not be punished for not conforming to whatever “box” he/she didn’t want to fit in.
He/she should still feel loved just the same.
Getting Better Every Day
Guilt Free Hugs
From Body&Soul!
References and Related Posts:
Dr. Shefali Tsabary: Stop Seeing Your Child As An Extension Of Yourself (VIDEO) | HuffPost OWN
Hey! I'm Eunice Veloso and you'll find more about me on my About Page
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